I am human...

Hey everyone! So, earlier this week, I had a long talk with one of my close friends and he told me that my emails keep getting happier and happier each time. Apparently, he had a talk with his sister about this (also on this email list) and she concluded that one of two things was happening:

A) I'm on anti-depressants that are making me happy all the time.
B) I'm not happy all the time; it just seems that way from my emails.

Now this reminded me of a conversation I had with Tara, a volunteer that lived in my training site with me. She told me that she received an email from her friend that said something like, "I love your emails! It sounds like you're having so much fun! I'm jealous!" And Tara replied something like, "Don't think that it's all fun here. There are times when I'm depressed and want to pack it up and leave...."

Now when I heard these 2 possible options for my overly happy emotional state, I have to admit, I found A to be hilarious. I told Jermain, another Peace Corps volunteer, about this conversation and (after he finished laughing) he said, "Well, you are the happiest person I've ever met. But that's why it's so fun to hang out with you!" So...I just want to clear up the idea that I'm always happy. I am human; I do get depressed and sad...usually at least once every other day. But...that happens everywhere. Stuff just happens sometimes that makes you upset or gets you down. This place isn't any different than anywhere I've lived in the US when it comes to mental sanity. But when this happens, I usually just hang out in my room, listen to music, read letters from you guys, look through photos, etc. It's all of you, my awesome friends and family, that get me through those tough times. If I didn't have you as friends (I guess the fam is stuck with me), this would be MUCH harder to handle!! I really feel so lucky to have you all in my life, and it's only because I have you in my life that I can enjoy this experience so much!! :) So don't think that I'm just happy happy happy all the time and never think about you...I think about you ALL of the time!! :) And in my emails, I'm just giving you highlights from the week. There is other stuff that happens (like me hanging out in my room thinking about all of you), but that happens everywhere, so why include it in an update?

Anyway, ok. So to stress this point, I've decided that this email will include some stuff that I don't like here in El Salvador (so you all know I'm still human!). All in all, it's an awesome experience, and I'm TOTALLY glad that I'm doing it. But, here are some things I could probably live without:
1) Throwing ice cold water over my freezing body in the morning!
2) Having to take overcrowded buses (you remember the deodorant comparison!) EVERYWHERE
3) Eating only beans, rice, eggs, tortillas for every meal, everyday
4) Trying to understand and communicate in a different language 24/7
5) Greeting EVERYONE on the street (buenas dias, buenas tardes, buenos noches, kisses, hugs, talking.....)
6) Dealing with inefficiency in companies....waiting times, customer service, etc.
7) Dropped calls
8) Inaccesibility to internet! :)
9) Machismo and not going out at night!
10) Missing all of you so much!

So...you see that I am human, right? :) Now, having said that, I have to say this week was pretty sweet. I started teaching the marching band, which I LOVE. And everyone is starting to know me now. When I'm walking down the street, everyone is always like, "Hi, Michelle!" That's pretty cool. And I'm starting to make house visits...getting to know family by family. It's pretty darn fun! You should come visit when you get a chance! :)

Ok...that's it for now!

As I stated earlier, I miss you all!! :)

Lots of love,
M